The variety of sex toys is surprising. Sex toys vary from purely male or purely female sex toys to toys that can be used by both sexes. There are also some sex toys that can also be classified as sex aids or marital aids.

The Purpose Of Sex Toys

Some sex toys aid the man’s erection, stimulate the female genitals to become more sensitive or provide a different feel to ‘normal’ sex. Other sex toys provide an ‘environment’ for variations in sex, for example so called orgy bed sheets. Sometimes they are used to help a person who has difficulty with unaided sex to achieve sexual satisfaction. However most sex toys provide a new way to directly stimulate the male or female genitals to achieve sexual satisfaction.

Using sex toys can provide new experiences and variation in the sexual experience. It can also provide a fantasy element for enhancing or revitalising a relationship.

The usual expectation is that a sex toy provides direct stimulation of the genitals in foreplay and/or during sexual intercourse or as a means to obtain orgasm through only the stimulation provided by the sex toy.

Types of Sex Toys

Vibrating Sex Toys

Probably the most well known sex toys are ‘vibrators’ which, as the name suggests, provide stimulation of the genitals using vibration. They are mainly used to stimulate the clitoris, but may also be used to stimulate any other part of the female body or that of a man’s.

The simplest of these are pencil or wand shaped (though normally thicker than a pencil). They often have an internal battery (or two) which powers a small electric motor. Sometimes the battery pack and controller are external and connected to the vibrator by a wire. This motor is fitted with a small, out of balance, weight attached to the shaft. As this weight rotates it throws the motor and vibrator into a small circular movement which causes the vibration you feel.

With a vibrator that has a controller, as the power is increased the speed of the motor increases and with it both the rate and strength of vibration. Both the strength and rate of vibration effects how stimulating you find the sex toy. The best effect may not be as strong and as fast as possible. The optimum settings may well change as your degree of excitement builds. To get the best results it is worth buying a vibrator which is controllable.

Different vibrators will have different characteristics and you may well find you prefer one combination much more than another and your preference may even vary depending on which part of your body you are stimulating.

More recently electronic vibrator controllers have appeared which provide not only the static control of power/speed but also allow you to select patterns of power pulses and surges. These can be very effective.

There are also other vibrating sex toys such as butterfly stimulators and vibrating penis rings.

Other Powered Sex Toys

There are some sex toys that use other ways to provide mechanical stimulation. These usually depend on a motor that makes the sex toy continually change its shape which provides a sort of rotational movement or makes it move back and forth. The back and forth movements are sometimes powered by an air pump rather than a motor. The movements have been used to create, for example, mechanical licking tongues, vibrators that ‘penetrate’ the vagina and mouth simulators to give a man a ‘blow job’.

On a bigger scale and much more expensive, there are ‘sex machines’ that incorporate thrusting and vibrating dildos.

Combination Sex Toys

So far we have covered vibrating, moving and thrusting sex toys. As you may have guessed these are all offered in a bewildering array of combinations.

A common combination in many ‘Rabbit Style’ vibrators is clitoral stimulation using vibrations and vaginal stimulation using movement and sometimes a thrusting motion as well.

Many sex toys add varying textures to their surfaces; a dildo or vibrator may have ridges or soft spikes or a rippled shape.

Sensation Change Sex Toys

Some sex toys rather than provide vibrating or moving stimulation, change the feel of sex.

For instance there are a variety of sleeves to put over the penis to provide different sensations for both partners while engaged in penetrative sex.

There are rings that squeeze the base of the penis and/or tighten the scrotum that assist the man’s erection and also changes his sensations. There are penis extenders and thickeners which may give a man’s partner greater sensations during penetration.

There are a wide variety of lubricants that can significantly change the feel of sex.

There are PVC and Polyurethane bed sheets that are water and oil proof that can be used for slippery or messy sex.

Why Use A Sex Toy?

A good question is: why do people use a sex toy? Surely fingers, tongues, penises, clitorises and vaginas etc all provide great sexual stimulation and enjoyment.

Well, apart from therapeutic uses (eg erection assistance), sex toys can drive the imagination (being taken by a machine), provide variety (new ways to do old things), vary the stimulating effects in otherwise normal sex (penis sleeves) and some can provide experiences not possible with ‘normal body parts’ (particularly vibrating sex toys and electro-stimulation).


1. Question: Am I a sex addict?

Answer: There are a number of red flags that can signal an addiction to sex. A person who uses sexual activity be it intercourse, viewing pornography, phone sex, chat rooms, prostitution or masturbation as a numbing agent, something to prevent them from feeling bad, may have a sex addiction. Other indicators the sexual behavior is causing the addict problems include their spouse becoming upset over their behavior or they’ve gone into debt over payment for phone sex lines or Internet pornography sites. Spending an excessive amount of time viewing pornography Over 10 hours a week is another red flag, since this sexual behavior is interfering with time spent with friends, family or at work.

Another key factor is the addict has tried to stop engaging in sexual behavior but failed. When all these things come together, it’s time to ask a professional about getting help.

2. Question: Can I be cured?

Answer: Many sex addicts have reported being able to bring their sexual behavior under control, through any one of a variety of treatment methods. Some attend intensive rehabilitation facilities; others go to therapy sessions, attend 12 step meetings or use medication and a host of other techniques to control their sexual behavior. This can include finding a trusted person to act as an “accountability partner.” Or for pornography addicts, it can mean the use of pornography blocking computer programs.

3. Question: Does being cured mean I give up sex?

Answer: No. Unlike chemical dependencies related to alcohol or drugs, sex is recognized as a healthy aspect of life. Treatment for sex addiction, while it does involve a period of abstinence, seeks to bring harmful and unwanted troublesome sexual activity under control to where it is no longer causing harm. It may lead to stopping viewing pornography, discontinuing solicitation of prostitutes and other “bottom line” behaviors or even illegal activities. The goal is stopping harmful behavior, but certainly not giving up sex.

4. Question: Is sex addiction even real, or just something people use to excuse their behavior?

Answer: Truth be told, there are some experts who don’t feel sex addiction is real and say it’s more a product of conflicting social norms and mores. Other say sex addiction exists but do not feel it meets the definition of an addiction in the same way addiction to alcohol or drugs does. For a sex addict seeking treatment, it may be a moot point. To get treatment, first one has to recognize they have a problem and stop trying to use their own willpower alone to control it. Many people have sought treatment for sex addiction and reported results. Much of the criticism about its validity has been aimed at celebrities embroiled in public sex scandals and is hardly analogous to the average person not living in the public eye. Sex addiction is real and one struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors certainly can attest to that fact.

5. Question: What caused this? How did I get to be this way?

Answer: There is no definitive cause for sex addiction, and for each person it will be different. Many sex addicts report being sexually abused at a young age and growing up with a distorted view of sex and what a healthy sex life should be. For others, it is simply the rush of chemicals in their brain after discovering a parent’s pornography stash or coming across it in some other fashion. Still others indicate the accessibility of Internet pornography had them fall into a cycle, while there are those who turned to using sex as a numbing agent during a difficult period in their lives and began relying on it as a coping mechanism. For some growing up with abuse, neglect, abandonment and enmeshment have cause the to seek out other ways to feel good about life and themselves.

While knowing the cause of sex addiction is important, those on the path to recovery should not seek to dwell on the unchangeable past; instead, they need to focus on their present actions.

6. Question: Does viewing pornography and sexual interaction over the Internet count as cheating on my spouse?

Answer: Not to be glib, but it can depend on the spouse. Certainly many women do feel that their spouses having cybersex or phone sex with another woman qualifies as infidelity. They may not react in the exact same way as if it had been physical sex with another woman, but the impact on a relationship can be dire. First, the wife will feel betrayed. She won’t trust her husband if he’s been hiding his behavior. She may can feel bad about herself, perhaps thinking some failing on her part led the husband to seek these sexual outlets.

Even pornography viewing can be a sore spot for women. Society places a lot of pressure on women to be physically attractive and sexually desirable and they may feel they are in competition with actresses in pornographic videos. This can affect their self-esteem, even if they do not confront their husband about the behavior.

7. Question: Can medication lower my sex drive so I don’t have this problem.

Answer: Yes and no. There are medications out there that can lower a person’s sex drive, and they are often used to treat sex addiction. However, they are limited in their power to erase the problem completely. Some form of therapy, be it a 12 step program or other process, is required.

8. Question: Will I ever be cured or is this a lifelong problem?

Answer: Many people report being able to bring their sexual behaviors under control, sometimes after a period of months or years, and are living lives relatively free of problems related to sex addiction. These people have addressed the factors in their life they had once sought to control by using sex; they have now embedded into their lives multiple tools to avoid falling back into destructive addiction cycles. For some, there is always the fear they will relapse, and some do struggle with sex addiction for long periods of time. There is no quick fix for the problem.

9. Question: I’m also addicted to alcohol. Is my sex addiction just a sign that I’m susceptible to addictive behaviors in general?

Answer: In some ways, yes. Many sex addicts report being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or behaviors such as gambling. They also claim family members with various addictions. It’s certainly been theorized that a person can have a genetic predisposition to addictive behaviors. As to treating multiple addictions, it should be noted that many sex addiction treatment programs are modeled after alcohol treatment techniques developed by Alcoholics Anonymous. 12 step programs such as Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous model their programs after and borrow their literature from that organization.

10. Question: Am I really a sex addict or is my sex drive just naturally high?

Answer: The difference between a sex addict and a person who enjoys a lot of sex has to do with why the behavior is being sought and the inability to stop an unwanted behavior as well as the obsession and compulsion. A person with a high sex drive is aroused and in most cases can control acting on that arousal. A sex addict is engaging in sex as a coping mechanism, isolating themselves from others even if they have a real life partner for the sex, and engaging in the sex act compulsively. They may feel shame after they complete the act, or some general feelings of depression. Actual arousal is not the primary motivator.


Yes they do. It’s simply false to believe that acne is restricted to the adolescent years and only affects teenagers. In fact, the opposite is true. Acne is quite common in later life. Around one quarter of adult men and as many as half of all adult women are likely to suffer acne at some time in their adulthood. As a consequence, demand for adult acne treatment is on the increase. Adults might feel embarrassed with the condition, but this is not appropriate. Physicians deal with adult acne frequently and they are well placed to offer good advice and suggest the most effective treatments.

Adult acne, much like adolescent cases, generally arises as a result of hormonal changes and possibly stress too. Adults who make use of cosmetic products also tend to be at risk of acne outbreaks. One reason for the increase seen in adult acne may be that the specific bacterium involved (P. acnes) is becoming resistant to common antibiotics.

Women And Acne

Women’s body are subjected to hormonal changes throughout their adult lives. It should not be surprising that adult women suffer around twice as much from acne as adult men do. Adult acne treatment may be sought by women during outbreaks which tend to occur during menstruation, pregnancy and, later in life, in the menopause.

Adult Acne Treatment

Adult acne care is much the same as that which is appropriate earlier in life. The causes and symptoms are pretty similar and as a consequence the most effective treatment for adult acne is the same too. In adult acne care there are some additional risk factors to consider. Important restrictions are imposed by pregnancy and breast-feeding, and certain treatments must be avoided.

The first products to try are likely to be medications based on benzoyl peroxide. These are very good for controlling the severity of the outbreak and also help to minimise the likelihood of scarring later. Various concentrations are available, the advice normally given is to try the lowest concentration products first as they have the mildest side effects such as skin irritation and dryness.

The retinoid treatments such as Retinol, Tretinoin and Adapalene have the additional benefit of antibiotic action. In severe cases, the health practitioner may recommend a systemic antibiotic. Often, though, the physician may be reluctant to prescribe antibiotics. This is because there is now good evidence that the specific bacteria involved are becoming resistant to antibiotic treatment and over-prescription only worsens the problem.

Mild to moderate adult acne can be effectively treated using preparations based on azelaic acid. Azelaic acid products include Acnederm, Azelex and Finacea. The concentration is usually 20%. These products are less irritating than retinoids but they may affect skin pigmentation by lightening it.

Women suffering from acne sometimes find that hormone treatment is very effective. The hormones present in some contraceptive products counteract the androgens (male sex hormones) that are responsible for acne. Thus birth control products may be prescribed as an option, except of course for pregnant women and nursing mothers.

The first step of sewing an adult diaper is going to be to decide what type of protection the wearer needs. Assuming it is you who needs the protection, ask yourself the following questions: Do you need a diaper that you simply throw in the wash and has the ‘soaker’ built in? Do you need something that you can adjust the soaking capability? Do you need a diaper that is ‘waterproof’ or do you need a diaper that is for very light protection?

Lets talk about your options below.

1. If you want something that you never have to mess with, sew an All In One (AIO) style. This style of diaper has the soaker sewn into it so you’ll never have to worry about stuffing it when it comes out of the wash. This is the most like disposables.

2. If you want something that you can adjust the soaking capability of the diaper, choose to sew a ‘pocket’ style. This is a diaper that has an opening for putting in as much or as little soaker as your individual needs are. This is the most commonly sought after style of cloth adult diapers and is what we recommend.

3. If you want a protection that doesn’t need to be ‘waterproof’, choose to sew an All In Two (AI2) style. This style simply does not have a waterproof barrier. Many times incontinence issues are so minor that the wearer doesn’t need any more bulk then necessary, so they choose to go with an AI2. Another reason to choose an AI2 is if you already have a leak proof barrier cover.

The second step is going to be to find an adult diaper pattern. I prefer to do all of my pattern shopping online. Online sewing patterns are excellent ways to get exactly what you want at a fraction of the cost of paper patterns. Online sewing patterns are also a great choice because most come with detailed tutorials that allow the user to see/understand exactly what to do at the coordinating step.

A good sewing pattern is going to have the following things:

1. An adult diaper pattern should have a detailed “Supply List”. The supply list is very important because it tells the ‘sewer/maker’ what fabrics and supplies they will need to make the cloth diaper.

2. An adult diaper pattern should have “helpful hints”. When you are making anything for the first time, or even the 100th time, it is nice to have good instructions from people who make them more then you. Budget friendly hints can help you design your own diaper from cheaper fabrics and supplies. Hints on how to choose various fabrics depending on individual needs are worth every bit of reading. Hints on how to sew certain types of fabric should also be included in the pattern.

3. An adult diaper pattern should have a size chart. This allows the ‘sewer/maker’ to correctly choose the proper size for the wearer.

4. An adult diaper pattern should have printable pattern pieces. Do not purchase or try to follow a pattern that has you draft your own pattern. This takes time that you could be sewing a stash of reusable products for yourself.

Lets face it: you are going to purchase the sewing pattern online… so why not have pieces that you can print from your home printer? Not only that, but with printable pattern pieces, you can print over and over so you never have to worry about the ‘first cut’ being the wrong one.

5. An adult diaper pattern should have a step by step tutorial with images for each step. This is the BEST part about purchasing a sewing pattern online. Pictures should be clear and have descriptions that accurately describe the step.

6. The most important thing: The best adult diaper pattern is going to have OPTIONS. If you read through the first step in this article, you have probably decided which type of diaper you want… but wouldn’t it be better if you could have all the options in the same purchase? Choose an adult diaper pattern that has the options of being an AIO, Pocket or AI2!

The third step of how to sew an adult cloth diaper is going to be shopping for fabrics and supplies. Once you purchase the adult diaper pattern, you’ll need to buy the stuff to get it done. Most diaper making supply stores online are the best priced and easiest to find. You may be able to find some supplies at a local fabric store, but save the headache and order online.

The fourth step of sewing an adult cloth diaper is going to be making your own stash.

Follow the adult diaper pattern directions and step by step images to sew the cloth diapers. Sew some with fun printed fabric for the days when you are feeling lively. This is your body and you deserve to have some adorable incontinence underpants that make you feel protected and secure about yourself.

There are very limited adult diaper patterns available. The one that gives you all of options listed is made by Mamma Can Do It. Simply download and get your stash started!


1. What is sex addiction? Sex addiction is a way some people medicate their feelings and/or cope with their stresses to the degree that their sexual behavior becomes their major coping mechanism for stresses in their life. The individual often can not stop this sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves. The sex addict spends a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behavior/fantasy or they may have a binge of sexual behaviors.

2. Why do people become sexually addicted? This is different for every sex addict but generally speaking there are biological, psychological, and spiritual reasons. The following is a short explanation of each reason why someone can become a sex addict. The biological addict is someone who has conditioned their body to receive endorphins and enkephlines (brain chemicals) primarily through reinforcing a fantasy state with the ejaculation that provides these chemicals to their brain. Psychologically, the need to medicate or escape physical, emotional or sexual abuse can demand a substance, the early addict finds the sex medicine usually before alcohol or drugs. Spiritually, a person is filling up the God hole in them with their sexual addiction. The addiction is their spirituality, it comforts them, celebrates them and is always available and present. Then there is the sex addict who can be two or even three of the above reasons. This is why a specialist in sex addiction is the best route for recovery with sex addiction.

3. What’s the difference between sex addiction and a high sex drive? I have heard this question on almost every national talk show or radio show I have been on over the years. A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex. It’s not about a fix for something; when their partner says “NO” it doesn’t make them go off the handle thinking their partner is totally rejecting them and have to leave the house or act out in some other way. If you can relate to this the chances are there may be an addiction issue.

4. Can you be addicted to masturbation? Yes, this is by far the most common sex addiction that I have treated in working with sex addiction. This usually is the first sexual behavior many of us will have on a repeated basis. This is usually where the sexual compulsion starts with sex addicts and this behavior, regardless of other acquired behaviors, usually stays active.

5. What role does pornography play in sex addiction? Pornography for many sex addicts combined with regular masturbation is the cornerstone for most sex addicts. Many sex addicts have great difficulty getting sober from this combination of behavior. The pornography with fantasy creates an unreal world that the sex addict visits throughout their adolescence and other developmental stages and creates an object relationship that conditions their emotional and sexual self to depend upon these objects and fantasies to meet their emotional and sexual needs hundreds of times before having sex with a real person.

6. Can someone be a sex addict and not be sexual with their spouse or committed relationship? YES! We call this later stage of sex addiction, sexual anorexia. In this stage of sex addiction, the addict prefers the fantasy world and fantasy sex with themselves or others instead of relational sex with their spouse or partner. The addict/anorexic avoids relational sex and hence this couple has sex infrequently and often at the partners request not the addict/anorexics.

7. What is it like to live with a sex addict from a partner’s or wife’s perspective? The partners/wives of sex addicts report many similar feelings about living with the sex addict. The feeling of aloneness is a common experience with partners of sex addicts, the sense that he can’t open up and tell you about his “real” self. The confusion of even after you do certain behaviors that this still is not enough and the hopelessness that there isn’t enough. Anger for many different unmet needs as a person and as a woman are often common.

8. Can partners get help even if the sex addict doesn’t? Yes, even if the addict stays in denial of their addiction the partner can receive help and support for herself. The feelings of anger, loss, loneliness and many other feelings encountered over the years of living with this addiction will effect a person. These feelings need to be dealt with therapeutically whether they stay married to the addict or not. The addiction was in no way your doing as a partner or wife, the addicts addiction started many years before you even met your addict. This addiction would have grown and damaged anyone they would have related to in any relationship.

9. Is there recovery for sex addiction? Yes, there is recovery for sex addiction. This recovery takes time and hard work especially in the first year but with guided help the sex addict can experience restoration in their emotional, relational, sexual, financial and even spiritual lives. I have seen marriages made better than they ever were and addicts live much happier lives than they ever thought possible. I have been in successful recovery over eleven years and I know it’s available for those who choose to work for and maintain recovery.

10. Is there research on sex addiction available? There is research being done in the field of sexual addiction. The monitored mail list of Heart to Heart Counseling centers provides weekly research information as well as excerpts from 101 Practical Exercises for sexual addiction recovery as well as Twelve Step discussions.

11. Can women be sex addicted? Yes! The number of women desiring treatment is growing significantly. The behaviors are the same as their male counterparts including: masturbation, pornography, internet activity, anonymous encounters and affairs. Over twenty recovering female sex addicts contributed in writing She Has a Secret: Understanding Female Sexual Addiction. This book plus the Secret Solutions Workbook, with over 115 helpful techniques for recovery is just for her. If you would like to set up a telephone counseling appointment to start your journey of recovery, call today. There is hope for female sex addicts to recovery.

12. Is there any way to help our children not become sexually addicted? Yes! Even though many of our adult male clients report that their fathers were sex addicts (porn, affairs, prostitutes etc.) they also report getting little to no proper sexual information to balance their sexual perspective. Good Enough to Wait is the first video of this kind to help your children understand sex and the brain, the long-term affects of pornography, long term sexual satisfaction and a whole lot more. This is the best combination of sex research and spiritual principles to date for youth to watch to give them a proper and currently informed sex talk.